A Little Self Love Goes a Long Way by Breanne Cogan
We are constantly evolving as people and the hope is that we are becoming better versions of ourselves by learning from our experiences. Sometimes I find myself trying to put my finger on my catalyst or what exactly sent me into the path I am on and into becoming the person that I am today. I always come up empty handed, I don't have a specific day time or event that I can say led me to this day or version of myself.I can however say that learning to fully and truly embrace self love has had an incredibly powerful and positive effect on the trajectory of my life. I think it is, in a way at least partially, the key to owning your happiness.
Self love is all the rage these days, and I think that's a pretty cool thing. I am fascinated by the concept and individual evolutions of self love. We are all on our own self love journey and I think we owe it to ourselves and those around us to fully embrace our love for ourselves and work each day to find a little more of it.
Self love is knowing what serves you, and even more so that it is okay to walk away from any and everything that no longer does.
This washuge for me. I think it started when I walked away from a relationship that did not serve me. I knew long before I actually did it, that I needed to but I really lacked the level of self love needed to walk away. I had so many fears around leaving the relationship despite knowing that was what would be best for me. The fears I had seem silly now, but at the time they were very real. I thought “I am 24 years old, I will never find anyone else”... HAH! see what I mean about them seeming silly. There was also the need to wrap my head around how different my life would become. Our lives were intertwined, we had the same friends and spent a lot of time with our respective families. I needed to mourn the loss of all of that too. This decision, a great one, spiraled into a tumultuous few years of learning a whole lot about who I was and am all by myself. I started to live my life so fully during this time and continue to do so today. I started doing the things I wanted to do and stopped saying ‘some day’ to things I could donow. I replaced my new year's resolutions with bucket lists of things to check off over the course of the year. I went on trips that I booked at 2am a month ahead of time to other countries all by my lonesome. I did things I would do 100 times over and I also did some things I might reconsider, given the chance. But- from each of those things I learned something new and I am eternally grateful for that. Most recently I left a job that no longer served me. I left a comfortable, well paid, summers off, noone micromanaging me job in a public school, in the middle of a school year simply because it was what I knew I needed to do.
Was it terrifying and emotional?Yes.
Did I lose sleep over it and feel torn?Sure did.
Do I regret it?Not for a single second.
I don't think this is just because my new job affords me freedom and flexibility and I am happily settling into. I think that even if I fell on my face, I would have found more joy in picking myself back up than I ever would have found had I stuck it out in a situation that did not fulfil me.
This attitude toward things in life is difficult to attain and maintain. I am not saying when the going gets tough you should walk away from anything that challenges you. What I am saying though, is that when things in your life whether it be a job, a friendship, a romantic relationship, a hobby or activity- no longer fill your cup or even worse, seem to be draining it, it is okay to acknowledge this truth and to walk away in order to give your attention, love, and self to something that will.
Self love has also meant a quieter mind, or at least a more confident and soulful soul.
I used to worry alot about other people's perception of the decisions I made and things that I did. I would overanalyze my own thoughts and feelings because of this concern.
I can so vividly remember less than year ago when I started my wellness based instagram account, I was scared to post a picture that included my face and everything I shared at the beginning I would run by my sister from the picture to the caption to make sure it “sounded okay” or wasn't “too much”. The thought of this insecurity makes me a cringe a little now, but it was part of my journey. I am now able to use the page confidently as a platform to share some of my biggest and most intimate struggles as a way to help and inspire others who are going through something similar.
I have found that with learning to truly love and embrace who I am, I don't concern myself so much with what other might think. This is your journey, if you have a passion or desire for something- go for it! Even if you think it's crazy or it might not work out, maybe it won't! But going through life never knowing sounds a whole lot worse than a potential failure you can learn and grow from.
Self love lets you own your happiness.
This is something I didn't know I wanted, until I had it. Through learning to really and
truly love myself I have found a happiness that is totally and completely mine. I have so many great people and things in my life that provide me with additional happiness and love. But there is a unique and special feeling that comes from knowing that I can feel whole on my own. My cup is full and I have plenty to give to others without feeling like I am taking from myself.
It can be scary and vulnerable to jump in and wholeheartedly embrace all that you are and/or are not and love every piece of that. It takes time and constant effort. There is no end, you must continuously and consciously choose to work toward loving yourself more and more each day. It is a worthwhile battle.
Liked this post and want to get in touch with Breanne? You can find her on Instagram @bc__wellness for more tips and information!